Vintage Tumblr Themes

gorilllas:

@myself what the fuck are you doing

refreshinglyclassic:

burningoleander:

midnight-emotive:

'if lesbians use dildos why don't they just have sex with a man?'

image

'if straight men like fucking women in the ass why don't they just fuck men?'

Finally, a brilliant response to a dumb question.

officialwhitegirls:

fake-ketchup:

Why don’t astronauts just visit the sun at night?

um obviously because it will be too dark to see anything, there’s no point, also because the sun is trying to sleep we wouldn’t want to disturb it

waytoostrongforwaytoolong:

deanfrost:

at my school there’s an english teacher and an american teacher and they always glare at each other and when they pass each other in the hallway the american teacher will say ‘good show governor’ or something and the english teacher will say ‘god bless the land of the free’ and both in terrible accents and like the whole school ships it

when i first read this i thought to myself, what school teaches american as a subject?

svrferblood:

me when buying something over $10: do i need this? do i need any material objects? will this matter when i face the great abyss?

starbuckers:

What if all of our moms ran our blogs for a day

hancljob:

i thought perez hilton was paris hiltons damaged and slightly less famous brother 

katara:

do me like a math problem

cry and take a really long time 

"Drunk text me. Text me when the music is loud and there are girls dancing around you and you’re not quite coherent and you’re not quite yourself. Drunk text me that you love me or that you miss me or that I’m on your mind. Let the alcohol tell me all the things you won’t say sober."

2,272,379 plays

definited:

when i’m done dealing with someones shit

image